(UTC)
 Change Template: 
Choose Language:
(Moderator: Normpo)
‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›
Page Index Toggle Pages: 1 Send TopicPrint
Normal Topic Senryu (Read 79 times)
Just_Daniel
Supreme Member
*****
Offline


Slow down; things will
go faster. ~ djr

Posts: 8989
Location: South West New Jersey
Joined: Aug 2nd, 2003
Re: Senryu
Reply #4 - Sep 9th, 2011 at 3:36am
Print Post  
I like the idea, David, but I think "appropriate" is too telling for a senryu.

There are a number of other ways of saying something that juxtaposes, but my mind snickers something like this:

expected outcome:
a woman gives birth
on Labor Day

It's always best in ku to try to keep it in the present tense rather than past tense in line with the immediate present impression of the incident you're reporting... and also remember, you normally don't capitalize the beginning of lines in ku.

deLighting in your sharing, Daniel  Cool
« Last Edit: Sep 9th, 2011 at 3:39am by Just_Daniel »  
Back to top
WWW  
IP Logged
 
nas
Supreme Member
*****
Offline


I love YaBB 1G - SP1!

Posts: 9444
Joined: Sep 11th, 2006
Re: Senryu
Reply #3 - Sep 7th, 2011 at 12:01pm
Print Post  
Squirming thinking about it especially as it was my daughter's birthday yesterday.
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Normpo
Forum Administrator
*****
Offline



Posts: 10834
Joined: Aug 2nd, 2003
Re: Senryu
Reply #2 - Sep 5th, 2011 at 9:59pm
Print Post  
Cute --- I guess another might be someone dying on Memorial Day??

Norm
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Terry
Gold Star Member
*****
Offline


I love YaBB 1G - SP1!

Posts: 628
Location: OR
Joined: Feb 14th, 2007
Re: Senryu
Reply #1 - Sep 5th, 2011 at 8:53pm
Print Post  
David,
Well put, Senryu I believe follows the same syllable parameters as a Haiku...5 7 5, however, I do believe the Senyru can be less than 17 syllables but not more than.  Daniel would know.

Enjoyed the well put observation and humor.

Terry
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
davidf
Topic Starter Topic Starter
Supreme Member
*****
Offline


I love YaBB 1G - SP1!

Posts: 1158
Joined: Oct 25th, 2007
Senryu
Sep 3rd, 2011 at 6:36pm
Print Post  
Approrpriate
The woman gave birth
on Labor Day

~Davidf
  
Back to top
 
IP Logged
 
Page Index Toggle Pages: 1
Send TopicPrint
‹ Previous Topic | Next Topic ›
 
  « Board Index ‹ Board Top  

PoemTrain » Powered by YaBB 2.6.12!
YaBB Forum Software © 2000-2024. All Rights Reserved.

Valid RSS Valid XHTML Valid CSS Powered by Perl Source Forge