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Hot Topic (More than 10 Replies) Troll Patrol (fantasy) (Read 104 times)
Don
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #10 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Thank you kindly Iggie.  You have move up my on my list.


Don   Wink
  
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Iggie
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #9 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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I thought this was a wonderful poem!!! Grin
  
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Don
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #8 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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To Daniel:   

How droll to be called a troll.  Was it by a billy goat gruff?

There was a fad like smurfs
popular for doll troll turf
sold to children as toy
at which to laugh and enjoy.

One interpretation is trolls are like leprechauns that bring good luck if caught.

Cheers good friend

Don
  
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Just_Daniel
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #7 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Well, since I've just been characterized specifically as a troll by someone elsewhere... I'm reluctant to offer any suggestions...

it's left a bad taste in my mouth, a wound in my spirit and doubts in my heart...

sLightly dashed, Daniel  8)
  
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Merlin
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #6 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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I knew a Dutch troll Vanderpol, a British one Wampol, a long-nosed one Pinochiol, but a Scandinavian one... have you considered  Ebersol?

Merlin
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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Don
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #5 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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I am open to suggestions to give my pet troll a swedish male moniker.  A short knickname will also do.

Thanks for your help.

Don
  
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Don
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #4 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Thank you D. Allen Jenkins for visiting and commenting in depth.  As an exercise, I found useful words rhyming with "troll" limited.  When tuning I concentrated on six-syllables per line and ignored meter, which shows.

Don
  
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D. Allen Jenkins
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All I got was a rock
Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #3 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Don wrote on Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am:


Don,

I like the theme of this, and I was wondering when Frodo and company might come into the picture. From a technical POV, the rhythm was very bumpy for me, and it is difficult to suggest anything specific as a cure. I would suggest finding a common meter throughout the piece; this would really increase the enjoyment of this effort greatly. 

I have made some suggestions within the text for your consideration. Still, for me, the rhythm/meter of the piece is the biggest glitch, and one for which I can make no suggestions because it doesn’t matter what meter you choose, just be consistent throughout.

Merry Christmas,

Doug


Troll Patrol

Have you seen my pet troll?
He disappeared on mole patrol
inside a snug foxhole.

Often atop a pole
he sleeps in a keyhole,
or curled about a bowl.

Be careful where you stroll.
he might [just ?]snatch your soul
as payment for a bridge toll.

It is difficult to console,
and harder to control.
Please help me find my troll.

© 2000, D.E. Holmes
23 December

  
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Don
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #2 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Hi nas,

Agreed that "inside" works better than original "into."

Thanks.

Don
  
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nas
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Re: Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Reply #1 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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I enjoyed your little s-troll into fantasy land.  My only stumble was V1 L3.  "Into"  bothered me slightly and I wondered if "inside" might work better.
  
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Don
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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Troll Patrol (fantasy)
Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Troll Patrol

Have you seen a pet troll,
which left on mole patrol
into a snug foxhole?

Often atop a pole
it sleeps in a keyhole,
or curled about a bowl.

Be careful where you stroll.
It might snatch a whole soul
in trade for a bridge toll.

It is tough to console,
and harder to control.
Please return my pet troll.

© 2000, D.E. Holmes
23 December
  
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