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Hot Topic (More than 10 Replies) Erode... Naught Taken (Read 190 times)
Shawn_M._Roeder
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Roll with the punches
to get to what's real!

Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #18 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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I have to look at this again when I have more time.  I had a couple of minutes and decided to read a poem.  I immediately recognized the reference to Robert Frost in your title and chose this one to read.  This is very clever and I look forward to revisiting it when I have more time.
  
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percephanie
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paint me w/your heart
 erase me w/your eyes

Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #17 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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I can't top yer rhyrme.
I'm the beginner,
just wastin' yer time;
there ain't no winner.

I'm no crit but l like norms idead on re-leaved. It fits the picture.
  
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Just_Daniel
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Slow down; things will
go faster. ~ djr

Perse...
Reply #16 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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percephanie wrote on Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am:
It seems like yer competin'
to see who can be beatin'
with rhyme you ain't repeatin'
yer words that have some meanin'
came fer no fight, I'm pleadin'

nite guys...  Smiley

Ain't nobody fightin' er beatin';
We's jest havin' fun... I's repeatin'!
It's how we converse:
with jabbin' in verse...
but no blood... we ain't even heatin'!

stretchin' me Lim's, Daniel  8)
  
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Just_Daniel
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Norm don't get the purse, Perse...
Reply #15 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Normpo wrote on Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am:
Perse,

Where there's a Doug and a Dan
You'll know for a fact that they can
With their words they amaze
They both turn a phrase
Now we're off to the races again.

Norm

Take note what ya see here, young Perse:
Norm struggles a bit with 'is verse;
'is footwork needs fixin'
when 'e's 'ere a-mixin'
wi' Limericks.  He could do worse.
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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Just_Daniel
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Doug...
Reply #14 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Quote:
Taint never been pickin' a war
with dan'il, nor squarin' the score;
just spendin some time
havin' fun with the rhyme
and hopin our readers aint bored.

I's spar'd wi' the best o' me buds,
then sat down fer roast beef 'n' spuds.
In poetic fights
we's even wore tights...
'cuz no one c'n see our cute duds!
  
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Just_Daniel
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Norm...
Reply #13 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Thank you for your observations, Norm... 

and I'd be pleased to get the info!

deLighting in the sharing, Daniel  8)
  
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percephanie
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 erase me w/your eyes

Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #12 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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It seems like yer competin'
to see who can be beatin'
with rhyme you ain't repeatin'
yer words that have some meanin'
came fer no fight, I'm pleadin'



nite guys...  Smiley
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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Normpo
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Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #11 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Perse,

Where there's a Doug and a Dan
You'll know for a fact that they can
With their words they amaze
They both turn a phrase
Now we're off to the races again.

Norm

  
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D. Allen Jenkins
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All I got was a rock

Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #10 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Taint never been pickin' a war
with dan'il, nor squarin' the score;
just spendin some time
havin' fun with the rhyme
and hopin our readers aint bored.
  
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Normpo
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Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #9 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Daniel,

I will come back to this for crit but I have one small observation and one serious suggestion:

1) I almost read that last line re-leaved"

2) I have a few poems accepted in a rather odd publication called "The Nuthouse". They don't pay in cash but in a subscription -- at least it adds to my writing resume LOL. I think this poem is a slam-dunk to get accepted --- IMHO of course.  If you want the information let me know and I'll PM it to you.

Norm
  
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Just_Daniel
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stridin' through silly slurry...
Reply #8 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Naught taken, young Perce, don' ya worry;
so don' let yer eyes get all blurry
with stressin' an' such.
Ol' Doug an' I cluch
our Bibles real tight through the slurry.
  
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percephanie
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 erase me w/your eyes

Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #7 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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no offense intended
where there's a doug there's a dan   Smiley
  
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Just_Daniel
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Slow down; things will
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Doug Inn...
Reply #6 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Ain't no war betwixt Doug an' me.
It's plainer th'n day; look 'n' see!
We each now 'as strode
along this new road
a-boundin' in meter... but free.
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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percephanie
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paint me w/your heart
 erase me w/your eyes

Re: Erode... Naught Taken
Reply #5 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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sense a war between dan and doug
lost in the posts upon this train
a weaker man would grab the plug 
and stop this madness in my brain

yes, not quite good but enjoying the thoughts anyway


Grin
  
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Just_Daniel
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Slow down; things will
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DAJ
Reply #4 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Quote:
The Error Road Taken

I took a single road that split
in two directions; all at once
I found myself where now I sit
with torn hamstrings and a dunce
hat sitting atop my head.

© D. Allen Jenkins

Treading lightly, Doug

When straddling two roads in your knickers
be careful o'sharp rocks an' stickers;
when two roads diverge,
don't yield to the urge
to stay both! Ya'll drain all yer liquors!

Pickin' ya up at the fork, Lightly, Daniel  8)
  
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