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Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) (Read 24 times)

D. Allen Jenkins Topic Starter Ex Member All I got was a rock	Re: Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) Reply #4 - Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am	Print Post
	duetsdove wrote on Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am: This reads so nicely, Doug. . .I read it through several times aloud. . .and it just flowed. . . Thanks Rene. It's good to get it right once in a while. If darkness ever came to know delight. the everlasting sun that rose mid-night. . . I also see a "flowering" in this. . .with the word rose, which serves two purposes for me in that way. . . I hadn't thought of it that way, but it is an interesting idea. I don't know if it's the way the poem reads to me aloud that sends me back. . .and back. . .but, I tend to like t'ward because of that regression I feel. . . T'was my thinking as well, m' lady. Nit-wise. . .I think you could push yourself to find something bettter than "things' in L10. . . Yes...that is a weakness. Hmmm, perhaps "trophies" would work better; what do you think? ...and I'm not certain about the "turn" in the end three lines. . .I guess I still want to read: If darkness ever came to know delight would all our sorrows cease and joy become the everlasting sun that rose mid-nght.(sic) The idea is to turn the questions into affirmations and/or declarations, rather than ask the question again. Does that make sense? Thanks for a beautiful read, Doug. Thank you for your always welcomed and insightful thoughts. Doug ~Ren~


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D. Allen Jenkins Topic Starter Ex Member All I got was a rock	Re: Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) Reply #3 - Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am	Print Post
	Norm,, Thanks for dropping in on this one. I thought the "Villonnet" might snag your attention. Quote: not so sure the archaic t'ward is needed to push the reader to one syllable. Cyn has hit me over the head a few times about this one. While I would tend to agree with you, she suggests that toward proper is two syllables and that the contraction is helpful, if not necessary to distinguish how the reader should approach its pronunciation at any given occurrence. She's in my head, man, and I can get her out!!! Quote: if darkness ever came to know delight? this is vague to me -- I understand personifying darkness but the meaning escapes me. I think Rene's thoughts are helpful in this regard. Thanks for the eyes on "its". Doug


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duetsdove Ex Member	Re: Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) Reply #2 - Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am	Print Post
	This reads so nicely, Doug. . .I read it through several times aloud. . .and it just flowed. . . If darkness ever came to know delight. I love that. . .darkness as negativity, depression, "evil". . .if "it" could just accept happiness, positivity, joy.. . .delight for just a moment. . . wouldn't it just disappear. . . delight = light. . .and, as we all know, you turn on a light and darkness goes away. . . lolol. . .I could probably spend all day discussing that. smile the everlasting sun that rose mid-night. . . I also see a "flowering" in this. . .with the word rose, which serves two purposes for me in that way. . . I don't know if it's the way the poem reads to me aloud that sends me back. . .and back. . .but, I tend to like t'ward because of that regression I feel. . . Nit-wise. . .I think you could push yourself to find something bettter than "things' in L10. . .and I'm not certain about the "turn" in the end three lines. . .I guess I still want to read: If darkness ever came to know delight would all our sorrows cease and joy become the everlasting sun that rose mid-nght. Thanks for a beautiful read, Doug. ~Ren~


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Normpo Forum Administrator Offline Posts: 10834 Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Re: Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) Reply #1 - Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am	Print Post
	Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) If darkness ever came to know delight, would sorrow cease? Would joy, perchance, become the desperado’s goal as he rides t’ward not so sure the archaic t'ward is needed to push the reader to one syllable. the everlasting sun that rose mid-night to blind the bull who mocks the hunter’s sights, and shine upon the seven-sister’s song? Would hope find reason to again believe, if darkness ever came to know delight? this is vague to me -- I understand personifying darkness but the meaning escapes me. Would peace be music to the one’s who fight for things that blackness hides behind it cloak its but are not there to win, when they find out the everlasting sun arose mid-night? If darkness ever came to know delight our sorrows all would cease and joy would be the everlasting sun that rose mid-night. I like the hook of the last line and how it works in repetition -- the progression is good. I just have trouble with your other choice for the reps: "If darkness ever came to know delight." I am sure you really like that line since you are showcasing it in the rep-format here --- I do happen to see the play on delight and the light --- but --- maybe it's just a Norm-thing. I also would like to suggest that though sight imagery is important to theme (darkness, night and contrasted with the sun line, the "peace be music" line made me realize that sound is far more important (hunter's sights) in the hunting world. Something you might want to inject more of. Of course, use or lose these things i offer up. I DO like the poem a lot. Norm


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D. Allen Jenkins Topic Starter Ex Member All I got was a rock	Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am	Print Post
	Sun Mid-Night (A Villonnet) If darkness ever came to know delight, would sorrow cease? Would joy, perchance, become the desperado’s goal as he rides t’ward the everlasting sun that rose mid-night to blind the bull who mocks the hunter’s sights, and shine upon the seven-sister’s song? Would hope find reason to again believe, if darkness ever came to know delight? Would peace be music to the one’s who fight for things that blackness hides behind its cloak but are not there to win, when they find out the everlasting sun arose mid-night? If darkness ever came to know delight our sorrows all would cease and joy would be the everlasting sun that rose mid-night. © D. Allen Jenkins
	« Last Edit: Jan 1^st, 1970 at 12:00am by »

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