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Hot Topic (More than 10 Replies) EH? BE Normal? Si!   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED 01/03 (Read 58 times)
Normpo
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Re: EH? BE Normal? Si!   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED
Reply #11 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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EH? BE Normal? Si !   
    
A thing cain't be repeated twice… until   
ya says it first a second time... but then   
who listens to my babblin' on with swill   
'bout technicalities? … this blue Light pen    found the enjambment bumpy  
th't spills more ink th'n ever Sonnet Bill   
'ould use ta write a play with more cayenne   
th'n all my bland an' soggy stuff... a pill    can't quite figure what you're after with "a pill that's hard ta swaller ??
that's hard ta swaller... an' I hear "Amen!"     does "ta" get an apostrophe -- ta'  -- not sure
there spoutin' from the gallery.  I will   
be done with this... an' not repeat agin   
... until I say it twice fer overkill   
as all yer glares 'n' frowns crawls up me skin.   
    
     Correctness ain't the stuff o' mice or men   
     ... but what's before my ears... well, that's my ken. 
     
  I feel like I am in very good company here (my name is in the title and within the sonnet we have Will Shalespeare, John Steinbeck and Daniel Ricketts --- I feel blessed! Thank you, Daniel. This poem ain't know swill, though. It is strong in its wit and message.
   
  This is also had me flashing back to "Young Frankenstein" and A.B. Normal 
   
  I enjoyed this though I am not sold on what your real intent was here --- message-wise.
   
  Norm
  
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Just_Daniel
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Wayne it is...
Reply #10 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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but my admiration for you will never wane!

deLightingly, Daniel  Grin
  
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writer
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life is good!

Re: EH? BE Normal? Si!   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED
Reply #9 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Daniel

a name by any other name is just a name
and as for me, just call me Wayne.

writer
  
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Just_Daniel
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Norm...
Reply #8 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Normpo wrote on Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am:
Daniel,

Time constraints --- but I will come back --- just wanted to let you know I wasn't ignoring this poem and a form I like so much.

Norm

Thanks, Norm... and I've just posted another item I was playin' with this afternoon in this forum too.

I know about time constraints.  Do what ya gotta do, and leave the rest till ya don't gotta!

deLightin' on the journey, Daniel  8)
  
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Just_Daniel
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writer...
Reply #7 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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writer wrote on Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am:
Daniel,

how about :

"EH? BE Normal? See?"

I'm going to have to try a sonnet. Always have been intimidated by the very idea, mostly because Ol' Bill did so well with them.

nicely done.  ~ writer

Well, I note that you've actually gone and DONE it... spilling out 6 or so sonnets all strung together.  I am planning to go visit them, though I don't get down to the epic section very often.  I promise I'll visit, just for you...  IF you tell me what your name is.  I don't wanna keep referring to you as 'writer'... though you're certainly a good one... and so is your offspring (whose name I also don't know yet)!

I've altered your excellent suggestion slightly, so Thank you!

deLightin' in the interchange, Daniel  8)
  
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Re: EH? BE Normal?   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED
Reply #6 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Daniel,

Time constraints --- but I will come back --- just wanted to let you know I wasn't ignoring this poem and a form I like so much.

Norm
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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Re: EH? BE Normal?   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED
Reply #5 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Daniel,

how about :

"EH? BE Normal? See?"

I'm going to have to try a sonnet. Always have been intimidated by the very idea, mostly because Ol' Bill did so well with them.

nicely done.

writer
  
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Just_Daniel
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Doug...
Reply #4 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Thanks, Doug...

That's reassuring, because I did indeed make the adjustment quite soon after Cyn made her visit, before my wife and daughter and I went off to see the 'Museum' movie this evening at the local mall.

Glad you must have found the change smoother or more (un)natural!  Grin

deLightin' in sharin' with ya agin, Dan'l  8)
  
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D. Allen Jenkins
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Re: EH? BE Normal?   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED
Reply #3 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Dani'l,

Delightful, as always. I must have read this after you made the change to L12, because I didn't see any problem with it myself. 

Doug
  
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Just_Daniel
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Cyn...
Reply #2 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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Thanks for your thoughtful visit, Cyn.  

Not sure how I'd include a C in there, but it's worth considerin' fer sher!  Does that bear repeatin' twice?  I'm glad you like the title!

I've revised L12, even though I'd intended to end with a pair of rhyming couplets.  Since you felt it was rhyme for rhyme's sake, I'm hopin' that my revision won't seem so.  I'm not sure that this IS a specific sonnet form, but I've never been one to worry about purity in such matters, at least under most circumstances.  As I've said many times, the sonnet is just too utilitarian a format to not use and attempt to reintroduce to the poetic public in whatever form it might be ingested.

aLightin' on me feet, Daniel  Roll Eyes
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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Cyn
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Re: EH? BE Normal?   ~ rustic sonnet
Reply #1 - Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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This is of course very clever, as I expect from you Daniel. Line 12 feels weak to me though. Feels like rhyme for rhymes sake. Also I am not sure but it seems like it is the wrong end rhyme (the others alternate) but you are the "form" master and I will concede that this is probably correct anyway.

A,B in your title is clever. Wish you could work the C/see in there too.

Repeated twice - you are so right, it has to be repeated once first! Very humorous and enjoyable sonnet.


  
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Just_Daniel
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EH? BE Normal? Si!   ~ rustic sonnet ~ REVISED 01/03
Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am
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EH? BE Normal? Si !  
 
A thing cain't be repeated twice… until  
ya says it first a second time... but then  
who listens to my babblin' on with swill  
'bout technicalities? … this blue Light pen    
th't spills more ink th'n ever Sonnet Bill  
'ould use ta write a play with more cayenne  
th'n all my bland an' soggy stuff... a pill  
that's hard ta swaller... an' I hear "Amen!"    
there spoutin' from the gallery.  I will  
be done with this... an' not repeat agin  
... until I say it twice fer overkill 
as all yer glares 'n' frowns crawls up me skin.  
 
    Correctness ain't the stuff o' mice or men  
    ... but what's before my ears... well, that's my ken.


 
© MLee Dickens'son 04 April 2006

Original:

Title: Eh? Be Normal?
L12 ~ so's all yer glares 'n' frowns give me a chill
« Last Edit: Jan 1st, 1970 at 12:00am by »  
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