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Rictameter ~ FOM July 07 (Read 606 times)

Just_Daniel Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Re: Rictameter Reply #10 - Oct 27^th, 2003 at 8:50am	Print Post
	Thanks, Dolly! Rictameter does not require minimal punctuation, but I am trying to write more with less in that form. I definitely am keeping in mind your suggestions. Here's another one, punctuation and capitalization purposely left out for reader's mind-wandering: potter reshapes his earth immersing his spirit into every nuance of touch sometimes leaving inexplicable marks as that unmerciful wheel spins seemingly pointlessly who controls this potter © Daniel J Ricketts 26 Oct 2003
	« Last Edit: Oct 27^th, 2003 at 8:51am by Just_Daniel »

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Merrimuse Full Member Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 315 Location: Gresham, Oregon, nr Portland Joined: Sep 10^th, 2003	Re: Rictameter Reply #9 - Oct 24^th, 2003 at 5:40am	Print Post
	Beautiful, Daniel! However, I think it'd be easier to read and understand if some punctuation was used. If punct's are not allowed in a rictameter, I think the reader should be able to clearly understand the meaning intended by the author. In other words, if no punctuation is used, I think the poem's wording should suggest natural pauses and stops which I was hard pressed to determine in this particular one. Yes, yes, I know this is not a crit forum, but not a lot of people are coming by lately and I think everyone should be reading this swell poem! If someone doesn't throw me out for crit I'll hasten to add for the unknowing reader, that you and I share a friendship that goes back a few years so I feel at liberty to speak my mind. Happy to read your first posting since your return. It seems it was a very fulfilling and satisfying few days! Talk soon, Blessings, Dolly


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Just_Daniel Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Morning Prayer at the Bay Reply #8 - Oct 23^rd, 2003 at 2:10pm	Print Post
	Morning Prayer at the Bay Beneath horizon’s fire between a steel-grey haze and whisp’ring crinkled crystal sheen, a beam across bay's surface greets me here, reflecting light too bright to view; through clouds, eyes clearly see what God hath wrought beneath. a scent I seldom sense more inland where I dwell too far from grassland’s baying waves to smell or hear Atlantic Ocean’s surf lap-lapping on an island beach I’m thankful to be here to see my prayers’ ascent © Daniel J Ricketts 20 Oct 2003 at Harvey Cedars, NJ
	« Last Edit: Oct 27^th, 2003 at 8:44am by Just_Daniel »

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Just_Daniel Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Couldn't Tough it Doubt Reply #7 - Oct 10^th, 2003 at 3:13pm	Print Post
	Well, if this doesn't stir up something here, I don't know what will! smile Couldn’t Tough it Doubt Icy my way became with curdling scream that day when I left all there on that tuft; my stool was loosely splattered on the ground. That spider’d stirred my insides up; I couldn’t help but run. I’d lost my whey I see. © Daniel J Ricketts 10 Oct 2003


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Just_Daniel Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Re: Rictameter Reply #6 - Sep 12^th, 2003 at 2:52pm	Print Post
	Ego got in his way; appeared to be the best at almost everything he tried, yet always wanted everyone to know. But who knows, since he disappeared? Balloon one day ka-boomed! No queries, Where’d ‘e go? © Daniel J Ricketts 12 Sept 2003


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Just_Daniel Supreme Member Offline Slow down; things will go faster. ~ djr Posts: 8989 Location: South West New Jersey Joined: Aug 2^nd, 2003	Re: Rictameter Reply #5 - Sep 4^th, 2003 at 3:16am	Print Post
	Goodies, Mary and Lizzie! May I share a double that I wrote during the first week of my rehab from total knee-replacement surgery this past March? Well . . . if not . . . just delete it! smile Cycles and Ice The bend is painful still for pumping knees and veins resisting flow and throbbing ebb, though seated pedaling to nowhere, fixed in place, I’ve come to love and hate, manipulated so I’ll see around the bend. Relax post swelling pride; deft fingers cool down deep to quell a burning drive inside bent on increasing knee mobility, a throbbing pain protesting still, loud screaming silently that I cannot relax. © Daniel J Ricketts 04 April 2003 for my Physical Therapist intern and Polish poet, Magdalena


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poetprncess Ex Member	Re: Rictameter Reply #4 - Aug 25^th, 2003 at 2:28am	Print Post
	Ahh HAAA... Mary, Certainly no lacking of brevity here! This is by far an excellent example of a Rictameter at its best! I especially liked your twist in L9, it incorporates the L1/L9 rule exactly as hoped! Nice job! Here's another: Joker, just a jester, not a master of trade nor an ace of spade. Just the kings courted flavor to pull in a full house. But the decks are stacked with deuces ’cause the Queen is playing Jacks wild with the Joker. Catch ya later... I enjoyed the beauty of your first Rictameter so very much! Look forward to more. Hugs, Liz


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YaBB-Developer Forum Administrator Offline Who cook YaBB Posts: 4 Location: Roggenstein Joined: Oct 12^th, 1990 Stimmung: tot	Re: Rictameter Reply #3 - Aug 24^th, 2003 at 9:58pm	Print Post
	Hi Liz, I gave this form a whirl, although I seem to have lost the ability to speak with brevity. LOL Inn-side we watched waves crest, while rise and fall of time passed. Breakers land on distant shores shifting sands beneath life tides and currents drift close to this abandoned strand kept far from seascape views, draped in disguise-- inside. Mary
	« Last Edit: Feb 7^th, 2007 at 4:37pm by Just_Daniel »

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poetprncess Ex Member	Re: Rictameter Reply #2 - Aug 24^th, 2003 at 5:40am	Print Post
	Hey Mary, Oh you are wonderful with Cinquains and I think you will become as addicted to these as many have! I hope to see things back to where it was in a very short while! Everyone that cares will help! Here's another: Incomparable Her heart at times is weak. Compelled by love, she'll seek for greater gifts. By far, they fail to please her more than he. As others pale, when she compares his poetry with words he paints, like art the canvas of her heart.


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YaBB-Developer Forum Administrator Offline Who cook YaBB Posts: 4 Location: Roggenstein Joined: Oct 12^th, 1990 Stimmung: tot	Re: Rictameter Reply #1 - Aug 23^rd, 2003 at 9:54pm	Print Post
	Hi Liz Thanks for sharing this form with us. I've yet to try one but promise to give it a whirl soon. I had heard of these and have read them by other poets like yourself and Daniel but I didn't have the full description of the form. Thanks again for helping us build up the poetic forms library and for the opportunity to spread our poetic wings and try something new. Mary


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poetprncess Ex Member	Rictameter ~ FOM July 07 Aug 23^rd, 2003 at 6:52pm	Print Post
	Hello Everyone: Rictameter is an interesting form. It is much like the cinquain, yet provide a further challenge and allow for a wider scope of thought. Rictameter is a syllabic form composed of 9 lines. LINE 1: 2 syllables LINE 2: 4 syllables LINE 3: 6 syllables LINE 4: 8 syllables LINE 5: 10 syllables LINE 6: 8 syllables LINE 7: 6 syllables LINE 8: 4 syllables LINE 9: 2 syllables There is a basic expectation that L1 and L9 begin and end the same, or a twist in meaning and/or thought played on L1 in L9 is also accepted. As with cinquain, it is not necessary to work with meter, but I find that doing them in meter and/or imploying rhyme schemes make the challenge more fun and add to their beauty! Here's an example: Good Luck! A Son To His Father Father console me now: though I stand here a man, I am but a boy lost beneath a soldier’s attire...still mourning a loss I learned to grieve in younger days, when you were strong and I was not yet a father. ejd
	« Last Edit: Jul 2^nd, 2007 at 11:53am by Just_Daniel »

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